20/06/2026: I had multiple, disconnect, vivid dreams this morning. My first recollection being I cornered a man, who I could only describe as handsome and light skin African American, and I tortured him with a knife. I ran the blade down his cheek, neck and eyebrow. He eventually collapsed. I remember the location of this particular dream being in a rendition of my old family home. It was where my old, upstairs bathroom was; more specifically, it was the toilet on the second floor before it got renovated and merged with the bathroom right next to it. The toilet space was not that big, maybe 1 yard long, and the toilet was removed and it was just an empty, hollow space, so when the man collapsed he was able to stay concealed from anyone who was to walk by. I had an idea, but not the vision, but simply put the man in a trash bag and throw him in the dumpster with no regards for his life whatsoever. Another dream I had was I walked into a Costco, and I was aimlessly just wandering around. On 19/06/2026, the day before my dream, I actually went to Costco with the intention of buying a large pizza, but as I waited in the queue for around 10 minutes without even being greeted or informed by one of the several staff behind the counter, I asked a fellow customer if they were still taking orders, to which he replied no. I was upset they none of the workers even had the decency to tell me this, even though they looked directly at me and they could see I was waiting, and I had to ask multiple fellow customers if it was even worth waiting for this. A part of me was quite relieved this was the case, because I’ve been trying to eat clean, health whole foods for a while, but my discipline seemed to have wared off, especially following going out earlier that week to watch the England World Cup game, as I was drinking excessively and ordered a late night takeaway afterwards. I still ended up buying some pre-made king prawns and one of the hot pork knuckles with sauerkraut at the deli counter. But this is where cognitive dissonance sets in. I know I shouldn’t have bought those items. Despite both items sounding quite healthy, I know I shouldn’t be eating food which isn’t whole food. I looked at the labels, and I could clearly see there were many ingredients, such as preservatives, added to them, yet I bought them anyway. My justification was: I drove all the way here, I might as well get something. But in retrospect, I wish I just stayed home and ate the food we had in the house. I’m disappointed in myself for not being disciplined and ultimately choosing to be a loser. Apologies, but I’ve digressed from the dream into speaking about my day. Returning to this dream, I distinctly remember walking back go the entrance, and walking towards the right hand side, although I don’t think there is a ‘right hand side’ in the real store, and as I walked into this other realm of Costco, I walked into what seemed like a lecture hall. There were many desks with computers, with people sat at them studying. I am a student, and I’ve enrolled into a new course on my apprenticeship. Perhaps this is where the connection is? Maybe, instead of going to Costco the prior day, I should’ve stayed home and studied, but instead I just unconsciously stray away from my goal looking for cheap dopamine to calm my chaotic nervous system. The other dream I had was that I was driving with my dad, and I suddenly crashed into my neighbours car. The neighbours came rushing out and were visibly distressed. Only of the neighbours, who was a lady, ran up to me crying hysterically, but she wasn’t mad at me, almost like she was compassionate for the distress I was under, but at the same time fully expressing her own distress. I remembered that while she was bumbling her rant towards me, I made the excuse that I was on my way to sit an exam, therefore I had to leave ASAP, and could not console her any further. In real life, I have crashed my car multiple times. Quite recently, I actually crashed my dad’s car while I was driving my mum and dad back from church. As I was turning into our porch, I overestimated how much space I had and I scraped the car against the wall which ruined the door and it cost around £700-800 to fix. In the end, my dad, mum and myself, split the repair bill equally and told me not to worry about it. But of course I still felt guilty. I’ve even crashed my own car not too long before this incident and had to pay around £200-300 to fix this. I just feel really foolish whenever I think about my driving blunders. On my way to Costco the day prior, as I was exiting my block, I was drove into the sidewalk and possibly scraped my tires. Something to note, right before I went to sleep, I was reading the book of Daniel in the Old Testament. Particularly up to section 4, when king nebuchadnezzar attempted to torture those 3/4 men by throwing them into the furnace for refusing to worship him. I was also binge watching WWE right before I went to bed as well. I also catch myself unconscious mumbling violent things, such as ‘fuck off’ or having violent thoughts such as getting into fights and making up random scenarios where I’m the aggressor and dominator in the scenario.
This collection of vivid dreams is rich with symbols and emotional undercurrents reflecting various aspects of your waking life. Let's delve into the interpretation of each dream segment:
These dreams reflect a complex interplay of guilt, aggression, internal conflict, and the struggle for self-discipline and control. They point to unresolved issues from the past, expressed through the setting of the old family home and repeated mistakes like car crashes. There is a vivid attempt by your subconscious to integrate moral and cognitive dissonance, as seen with the Costco scenario. It may be beneficial to explore these feelings more consciously, perhaps through journaling or speaking with a counselor, to better understand and address these elements of yourself.